Tuesday, July 19, 2011

[New post] Vick to Congress: can you erase my record if I pretend am sorry?

Vick to Congress: can you erase my record if I pretend am sorry?

Two exemplary speakers are going before Congress today to speak about the evils of dog fighting to help get a bill against animal fighting passed.  No, not someone from BadRap, who regularly rescues dogs who have been involved in fight busts like 11 of the former M. Vick dogs. No, not someone from Best Friends who also sees the effects regularly with dogs taken from fight busts and who took in and cared for 22 of the former M. Vick dogs. No, not someone from the ASPCA or Our Pack or SPCA who also know firsthand the evils of dog fighting as evidenced by the dogs.

No, instead the speakers are... wait for it:

M. Vick, dog killer and dog fighter for six years aka the most notorioous animal abuser of all time who never got charged with animal cruelty but instead got a plea deal and Wayne Pacelle of HSUS who thinks Vick will make a good pet parent.


Dog fighting is wrong (but I loved it and would still be doing it if I had not been caught) and I am not sorry one bit except for having gotten caught and my plea deal should have allowed me to get out of jail earlier. Can you please expunge my record so that I can make millions and pretend I am human instead of the sociopath I am ?  And oh yeah, and can you arrange for me to get another dog to have fun with, I mean, as a pet for my kids. I've got a pool all set up out back for my enjoyment.

Wayne Pacelle:  what a guy who else but Vick (a serial killer in the making with a long history, six years of  enjoying committing animal abuse)  could I bring with me so that I can make money and pretend everything is honky dory?


Politics does indeed make strange dogfellows ... Also on his Sociopath in the House meeting other Sociopaths Speaking Tour: Vick will meet Bachmann, Palin and others.  Bachmann was overheard to say Let Us Pray for Gay Dogs while Palin was letting Todd and the kids eat freshly killed Moose. Now Vick and Pacelle can cross off one more whistle stop on the Vick PR Rehab Express... aka Vick is really human tour aka Second Chances for dog killers who play football Tour. suckers all aboard... choo choo choo... That is if Vick actually shows up (he's been known to chicken out, cancel last minute speaking arrangements due to foot in mouth aka I cannot help spouting the truth of who I am, irredeemable and unrepentant dog killer no matter how much money they are paying me to say otherwise, disease)...

Afterwards, Vick and Pacelle will be having lunch with Obama and talking over old times, like when Obama congratulated Vick's manager on his second chance a few months ago. Rumor has it that the lunch will be freshly catered by Subway and feature Green Ham and Baloney sub sandwiches.  For dessert, a lovely four tier dog cake will be served in Vick's honor. Said dog cake will be dunked into small tubs of champagne in honor of Vick's former pet dog Champagne who Vick threw into the ring and laughed at while his dog got brutally hurt.  The dog cake dunking will begin a cool new tradition at the White House and give a whole new meaning to the saying Let Them Eat Cake. Subway's new motto: Let Them Eat Baloney.

A couple of surprise guests, will include Oprah Winfrey, who will be on hand to give Vick, Obama and Pacelle a trip to dog fighting country where they will meet up with old and new friends and continue the celebration. And reps from Nike will be giving out $200 shoes to throw at children.   Nike's new motto: Let Them Eat Shoes.

Not to be outdone, in the West Wing, apparently Obama will be showing off the puppy Second Chance that his staff is grooming and training. Obama will be giving the poor dog to Vick as soon as Vick's ban is up in 2012.  Some say the pup is a consolation prize but no worries there are more than 4 million shelter trash dogs to choose from. First dog Bo will be at doggie daycare for the occasion. Just in case. Obama would not want to have to explain to his children what happened to Bo.

Also on the agenda for Congress this week:

Tomorrow, Casey Anthony is going to be speaking to Congress about the evils of motherhood... oh correction evils of killing your child and getting a book deal... correction... evils of abusing your child and getting a movie deal...

The day after that, Rupert Murdoch is going to be speaking to Congress about the evils of listening into people's private phone conversations and deleting their messages and then discuss ways AT&T and other phone companies should make it easier for phone hackers aka Fox News reporters do their job.

By the end of the week Congress and the President are going to be having a party on the taxpayers without the taxes that they've NOT gotten from the big corporations nor the elite 1% millionaire/billionaires... and pretend our economy is not in the toilet for the poor and the middle class and the job creators with job creation disorder (who sent our jobs oversea) will give themselves a new raise/bonus.

from the Green Dogs Baloney and Ham Gazette Special Edition aka Cici and me

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